- mom: what was that?
- me: my shirt fell
- mom: it sounded a lot heavier than that...
- me: i was in it
Popping bottles in the ice, like a lizard. When we drink we do it right, with a lizard.
It’s not a phase mom I really am the next supreme
Homosexuality is unnatural! It says so in this book where snakes talk, people come back from the dead, a guy walks on water, and a virgin has a baby.
My dance style ranges from white dad at a barbecue to stripper whose rent is due tomorrow