petparent:

*gets sweaty from blogging*

(Source: barebackinq)

*boom*
  • mom: what was that?
  • me: my shirt fell
  • mom: it sounded a lot heavier than that...
  • me: i was in it

iwishlilbwasmygrandpa:

Popping bottles in the ice, like a lizard. When we drink we do it right, with a lizard.

(Source: flip5600)

communistbakery:

It’s not a phase mom I really am the next supreme

original-plastic:

Homosexuality is unnatural! It says so in this book where snakes talk, people come back from the dead, a guy walks on water, and a virgin has a baby.

6ood:

My dance style ranges from white dad at a barbecue to stripper whose rent is due tomorrow

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